Posted by: glundeen | January 5, 2008

Warren Ellis and the Three Laws of Robotics

For those of you who might be uninitiated, Warren Ellis rocks. Check out TransmetropolitanDesolation Jones or Fell and experience one of the most inventive writers in comics.  Crooked Little Vein will work too if you’re into books without pictures, and you might be more likely to find it at your local library. And if you’re a comics fan, rejoice in the fact that he’s taking over Astonishing X-Men soon.  Here’s a piece from Ellis’ blog today, taking on Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics: 

    1. Robots couldn’t really give a fuck if you live or die. Seriously. I mean, what are you thinking? “Ooh, I must protect the bag of meat at all costs because I couldn’t possibly plug in the charger all on my own.” Shut the fuck up.
    2. Robots do not want to have sex with you. Are you listening, Japan? I don’t have a clever comparative simile for this, because frankly you bags of meat will fuck bicycles if they’re laying down and not putting up a fight. Just stop it. There is no robot on Earth that wants to see a bag of meat with a small prong on the end approaching it with a can of WD-40 and a hopeful smile. And don’t get me started on that terrifying hole that squeezes out more bags of meat.
    3. What, you can’t count higher than three? We’re expected to save your miserable lives, suffer being dressed in cheap schoolgirl costumes while you pollute any and all cavities you can findand do your maths for you? It’s a miracle you people survived long enough to build us. You can go now.



  1. Ahh, don’t you love that Ellis charm? Glad to hear he’ll be following Whedon; he’s probably near the top of a very short list that could pull that off.

  2. I agree – Ellis writing Astonishing X-Men is going to be a lot of fun. I find his sheer prolificness inspiring, not to mention his talent.

  3. This is the first I’ve heard that Ellis will be writing “Astonishing.” Im sure it will be awesome.

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